I know that some of my posts tend to get very personal. This is one of those posts. I probably should save it as a journal entry, but there are a few of you friends that I want to share this with. You know who you are.
It has been 21 days since my last post and a lot of changes have happened. Right now I am sitting at my sewing machine on a camping chair in an empty house typing a blog for my last night here. I am very relieved to get out of this house tomorrow but only because I subconsciously on purpose have made this home my personal hell for the past 2 weeks. My way of coping with change is by trying to make my circumstances seem crummy so that I will want a change. When the truth is I have never wanted things (most things) to stay the same more in my life, and change is the last thing on my mind. My home is beautiful, my neighbors are truly my best friends (and Eddy's), my yard is my sanctuary, and we love every minute here. But there is more to mine and Danny's future than me being a homemaker. So change is coming.
Today at church one of my good friends gave a lesson on the Holy Ghost (WARNING: time for spirituality) She asked us to think about a time in our life when we have felt the Holy Ghost help us. Here is my experience:
Danny and I had been struggling for a while about whether or not we should sell our house (1 year to be precise) and this summer we were at the end of our rope. EVERYTHING was not working out. When I say everything that is what I mean. Danny was sick all of the time, job interviews that we thought were in the bag were not working out, new job sucked with a capital S, homes were not selling, Eddy got sick again, I was depressed, and the list could go on but it wont. Then we decided to fast and pray whether we should sell. The answer came to both of us that we should...but we had no plan. Where would we go? What would we do? We didn't know, but we knew that we needed to leave our h0me. After 2 weeks of being listed, our home had ZERO calls on it, we lowered the price and still not one. Once again the spirit helped us in deciding that we should put our home up for rent. That weekend we had one family come look at it, they called us 5 minutes after they left and said they wanted it. The next week, Danny got a job offer in California, his job here was finally going better than ever, his endoscopy came back GREAT, and everything has just fallen into place. So when I get sad and lonely thinking about how difficult it is going to be leaving my wonderful friends and family, I just think about the spirit that I felt that day that we rented our house. The weight that was lifted from my shoulders, the peace that I felt after such a long time of chaos, and I know that it will all work out. I don't know how but I know it will. And that feeling of comfort is something that only the Holy Ghost can give to me. I'm going to miss it here that's for dang sure, but I'm confident that I will be just as happy in the years to come.
5 comments:
I'm wiping tears away! Love you!
I relate so much to this post. I'm truly grateful that you've posted it. I know the feeling of uncertainty in adult life and it drives me absolutely crazy.
When I was a child, I automatically thought that being an adult meant having the answers, right or wrong every time. I knew what I was supposed to do and what I wasn't supposed to do. So I thought adulthood would be the same way. WRONG.
Sometimes there are two rights you have to decide from or your only two options are things that both seem wrong. This is why being in tune and listening to the HG is so helpful.
I think you should have ultimate faith in that, because in the end, it doesn't matter where your home is located, because your home is wherever you and Danny and your children are. It can be anywhere as long as you are together!
It is important to trust the spirit. Thanks so much for reminding me of that. HF truly knows us and our needs and answers prayers perfectly. Its our job to just have the faith. I know you guys will do well in Cali and I'm very happy for you :)
Good luck in Cali Libs! Did you get my message on your phone? I hope so. I love you and hope the next few weeks and months go super smooth for you. Sae
me too lynsey, me too.
What is better than finally feeling love, comfort and direction after so long?! I'm sure you'll love California- but UT won't be the same without the Switzers. muah.
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