MARIO RUIZ/Daily HeraldLicensed clinical social worker Craig Berthold talks to an audience at the Family First Week Seminar at Timberline Junior High School in Alpine Friday, march 20, 2009.
Speaker in Alpine calls family a necessary ordeal
Caleb Warnock - DAILY HERALD
ALPINE -- Marriage is the ordeal necessary for the refinement of the soul.
About 200 people gathered at Timberline Middle School on Friday evening to learn how to be better parents through better marriage. The free, two-hour seminar followed a free catered dinner for the first 100 people, and chocolate brownies for all who attended. The event marked the end of Alpine's Family First Week.
The treats may have been a way to get the crowd in the mood for some heavy spiritual and emotional lifting.
"I am in the change business," said speaker Craig Berthold, a licensed clinical social worker. "You can change anything."
Berthold bases much of his advice on his own experience. On Friday he was open about struggles in his own early marriage, in addition to struggles with religion, alcohol and the untimely death of his mother when he was 8 years old, and his struggles thereafter with his father and step-mother.
While there are other reasons, spouses are attracted to each other because they are the best person in the world to poke at the emotional sore spots of their husband or wife, he said.
Each of us must learn that it is OK in marriage and life to take charge, to make independent decisions. Berthold encouraged those in attendance to take a firm grip on the steering wheel of life, "and start ripping everyone else's hands off."
Sometimes, learning to steer your own life is the most frightening challenge to face, he said, noting that "if I take 100 percent of the heat, who gets 100 percent of the wisdom? ... Please reassure your spouse or whoever that you still love them, but you are going to think for yourself and finally be free. It's called the emancipation process. It is the most important process in existence."
This principle applies to jobs, marriage, religion and more, he said.
"When you have to, you resent it. When you choose to, you are free," he said.
At one point, while discussing the issues that vex individuals, Berthold did not resist the opportunity to poke a little fun at his audience.
"People in Alpine don't have any economic stuff," he said, meaning worries.
Because marriage is the ordeal necessary for the refinement of the soul, "in marriage you accomplish things you can't outside the marriage."
Dean and Linda Duvall of Alpine said that Friday was their 16th wedding anniversary and they chose to attend the seminar to celebrate. Both said they best liked the steps Berthold taught for gaining personal freedom.
Linda Duvall said she was interested in coming to the lecture because she wanted to learn how to be a better parent through better marriage.
"I thought it would be a good way to spend an evening," she said.
David and Jackie Whitlock of Alpine said they have been married for 21 years and wanted to improve their parenting skills. They have five children.
"We are always interested in strengthening our marriage and family," Jackie Whitlock said. "We are always interested in doing that."
While David Whitlock said the evening would help the couple to better sort out the root cause of any future challenges, Jackie Whitlock said she had also become more aware of how her actions and words might be affecting her children.
The treats may have been a way to get the crowd in the mood for some heavy spiritual and emotional lifting.
"I am in the change business," said speaker Craig Berthold, a licensed clinical social worker. "You can change anything."
Berthold bases much of his advice on his own experience. On Friday he was open about struggles in his own early marriage, in addition to struggles with religion, alcohol and the untimely death of his mother when he was 8 years old, and his struggles thereafter with his father and step-mother.
While there are other reasons, spouses are attracted to each other because they are the best person in the world to poke at the emotional sore spots of their husband or wife, he said.
Each of us must learn that it is OK in marriage and life to take charge, to make independent decisions. Berthold encouraged those in attendance to take a firm grip on the steering wheel of life, "and start ripping everyone else's hands off."
Sometimes, learning to steer your own life is the most frightening challenge to face, he said, noting that "if I take 100 percent of the heat, who gets 100 percent of the wisdom? ... Please reassure your spouse or whoever that you still love them, but you are going to think for yourself and finally be free. It's called the emancipation process. It is the most important process in existence."
This principle applies to jobs, marriage, religion and more, he said.
"When you have to, you resent it. When you choose to, you are free," he said.
At one point, while discussing the issues that vex individuals, Berthold did not resist the opportunity to poke a little fun at his audience.
"People in Alpine don't have any economic stuff," he said, meaning worries.
Because marriage is the ordeal necessary for the refinement of the soul, "in marriage you accomplish things you can't outside the marriage."
Dean and Linda Duvall of Alpine said that Friday was their 16th wedding anniversary and they chose to attend the seminar to celebrate. Both said they best liked the steps Berthold taught for gaining personal freedom.
Linda Duvall said she was interested in coming to the lecture because she wanted to learn how to be a better parent through better marriage.
"I thought it would be a good way to spend an evening," she said.
David and Jackie Whitlock of Alpine said they have been married for 21 years and wanted to improve their parenting skills. They have five children.
"We are always interested in strengthening our marriage and family," Jackie Whitlock said. "We are always interested in doing that."
While David Whitlock said the evening would help the couple to better sort out the root cause of any future challenges, Jackie Whitlock said she had also become more aware of how her actions and words might be affecting her children.
Well thats my dad, I love him and am so grateful for all he teaches me.
Then I had to get ready for a wedding. I was really excited to do these flowers because I LOVE the colors the bride chose. Everything was off white...cream, champagne, gold, pale pink, tiramisu, etc.
